We all love games, but playing games in relationships is dangerous. Approaching relationships as though someone has to win and someone has to lose is a bad idea. One game we tend to play in our relationships is The Change Game. There’s nothing more toxic to a relationship than secretly trying to change the other person. It feels awful. It doesn’t work. And it will eventually destroy the relationship. The good news is there’s a better way.
Read Romans 14:1–13
The Weak and the Strong
1 Accept the one whose faith is weak, without quarreling over disputable matters. 2 One person’s faith allows them to eat anything, but another, whose faith is weak, eats only vegetables. 3 The one who eats everything must not treat with contempt the one who does not, and the one who does not eat everything must not judge the one who does, for God has accepted them. 4 Who are you to judge someone else’s servant? To their own master, servants stand or fall. And they will stand, for the Lord is able to make them stand.
5 One person considers one day more sacred than another; another considers every day alike. Each of them should be fully convinced in their own mind. 6 Whoever regards one day as special does so to the Lord. Whoever eats meat does so to the Lord, for they give thanks to God; and whoever abstains does so to the Lord and gives thanks to God. 7 For none of us lives for ourselves alone, and none of us dies for ourselves alone. 8 If we live, we live for the Lord; and if we die, we die for the Lord. So, whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord. 9 For this very reason, Christ died and returned to life so that he might be the Lord of both the dead and the living.
10 You, then, why do you judge your brother or sister ? Or why do you treat them with contempt? For we will all stand before God’s judgment seat. 11 It is written:
“ ‘As surely as I live,’ says the Lord,
‘every knee will bow before me;
every tongue will acknowledge God.’ ”
12 So then, each of us will give an account of ourselves to God.
let us stop passing judgment on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in the way of a brother or sister. 14 I am convinced, being fully persuaded in the Lord Jesus, that nothing is unclean in itself. But if anyone regards something as unclean, then for that person it is unclean.
Think about a person or group of people do you have trouble getting along with? What is it about that person or group you want to change?
If God has accepted you, why not offer that kind of acceptance to others? What would it look like if you chose to treat others the way God has treated you? Don’t try to change others. Love them. Change happens when you quit trying to make others like yourself.
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